small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
