just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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