You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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