Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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