My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
