i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
