dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
