Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
