That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
