i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
