If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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