It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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