how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My life is pants optional.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
