No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
