Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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