So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize