on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize