haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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