dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
