my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
