only if we run a train.
done.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
