Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
