dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
