I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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