I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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