Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
