we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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