our cab driver is having phone sex.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
