my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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