i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
