I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize