it was like his penis was on wheels.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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