But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Randomize
