so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
