oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The Olympian is in my bed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
