big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
