im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
