I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I've blown a few things in my day
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
