It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
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I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
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I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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