i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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