I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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