So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
