physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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