How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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