Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
