her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
