Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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