he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
