I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
