Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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