SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
