i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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