HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
