Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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