I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
