I will die if light touches me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
