People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
