i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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