Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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