I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
