you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
