Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize