doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
