How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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