Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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