Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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