forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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