I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
