and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We're too hungover to prance.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
